I have something to say.

Why are relationships so hard and confusing? Every time I get in one, or even think about getting in one, I end up freaking out and not liking it. Isn't it just easier to be single? I think I've forgotten what it's like to actually work hard in a relationship and pull my own weight and do my part to make it work. How do you do it? I can dish out all this advice to all my friends but when it comes to actually stepping up and taking my own advice, I can't do it. I don't know where to draw the line. What's too much? What's too little? I'm too afraid to try because I don't wanna screw it up! I feel a tiny bit pathetic, but it's the truth! What do I do? I don't wanna get crazy jealous over anything or say the wrong thing when I'm being honest. I just don't know. And when  is he supposed to do work? Ugh. It's so frustrating. And. How do you even break up with people? Or discuss something serious? I've been a player for so long I feel like don't even know how to do things right. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think I'll be okay, I'm just having like a mini breakdown or something. One day at a time, right?

I'm going to Utah for my birthday. Fact. And I can't wait. 9 days.