Dear January

This month is almost over and I have thus far done terribly on my new year's resolutions. The only one I have done remotely well at, or at least better, is drinking less diet Pepsi. I don't drink near as much as I used to, but I haven't completely cut it out. Which is my goal. I've also become worse, I think, at keeping in touch. Ha. Hopefully I can get my act together and change that. January has been a pretty good start to this new year though, and I can't wait for the rest of what the new year brings. So since I've done pretty poorly with my blogging resolution, here's a quick recap on this month...

School started. It's my 4th semester in a row... yikes. So far it's been pretty good, just really busy. I'm taking Motor Development, Exercise Physiology, Sports Nutrition, Chemistry 106, and Photography... a grand total of 16 credits. I'm also volunteering as the Getting Started Coordinator in the Fitness Activities Program and a member of the PT/OT Society. I also. Have a job. But it's kind of a joke. When I say that, I mean it shouldn't really even be allowed to be called a job. All I do is sit there for 3 hours at a time and let art students draw/paint my head on canvas. Aka I'm an art model. It actually is kind of hard work. Sitting there without moving. This past week I think I irritated a few people cuz I was starting to fall asleep. Haha. Oh well.

What else. Oh yes. My friend Pierina just got married! It was GLORIOUS and WONDERFUL! I loved it. It was during MLK weekend, which actually turned out to be quite the eventful few days. I'll start with the bad, and end with the good, because really I'd much rather forget the bad that happened. Anyway, so the wedding was wonderful (I'll go into detail in a second). Me and my friend Maegan spent the night at our good friend Carly's and the next morning we were going to go eat, go shopping, etc. Maegan had to get back to Logan, UT and when she went to grab her keys to leave, they were not where she left them. So long story short, after 5 hours of searching, turning the house inside out and upside down (literally), getting a locksmith to come open her car (just in case they were in there), and a plethora of other things, they were still not found. So we decided they had accidentally gotten picked up by someone else and put in someone's things from the party the night before. We had a plan...to just have someone take Maegan home and then she'd figure out the key thing later in the week when she could come back. So I decided to take off, to go to my grandma Cheri's, so I could hang with family, etc. So Carly and Maegan decide to check the reception hall just in case. On my way to my grandma's, they call me to tell me they were at the reception hall. Haha. Ridiculous. I'm so glad they were found, but it really was a very frustrating situation. So then the next crazy thing that happens makes this key thing look like fun. I went to see Brian Sunday evening. We were going to watch a movie and just chill and stuff. So when I get to Provo, I park in this public parking lot to meet with him and drive to another location. I left my car there thinking it was okay because that's what I would do in any other town. A few hours later, after much laughter and good times, I went to go get my car to leave and drive back to my grandma's annnnd my car was GONE. from that public parking lot. My first thought is YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. THE CAR WAS STOLEN! And then my next thought is NO. THERE'S NO FREAKING WAY. THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE. I was literally going into shock I think. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to say... It was nuts. So Brian's roommate, Nolan, who was driving me over there, finds this number to call, and I get on the line with this dude who is like Oh yeah the Passat? YEAH YA BUM! How would he automatically know which one it was? Jerk. So he's like oh yeah you can come get it right now I'm going to leave in about ten minutes. I'm like oh that would be great thanks! He's like but its $145 dollars. My heart stopped, yeah I'm pretty sure. ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE DOLLARS?!?! you're kidding me. I was like well. I'm not coming tonight buddy. I had no choice but to stay the night at Brian's apartment with him and 7 other dudes. Not my idea of fun at all. Come to find out next day, the reason they tow is to discourage students from staying the night at apartments of the opposite sex. OH REALLY?? Because I had no freaking choice buttholes! I tried and tried to get them to take away the charge or at least lower it but no luck. So my poor (literally) dad has to pay the fee because I obviously couldn't. It broke my heart that he had to do that. But I'm also really grateful that I had people there to be there for me and take care of the pickle I had gotten into. AND you better believe I'm going to do whatever I can to get this thing appealed! GOSH. I got In-N-Out from Melanie afterwards though which definitely helped my mood...

Okay so WEDDING. It was gorgeous first off. We went to the reception. Which was in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. The food was really good. It was a huge reunion too! Soooo many friends there that I haven't seen in forever!  Here are some pictures...

                                           

Another New Year.

2010. Twenty-Ten.

Can't believe it's the end of another decade and the start of a new one. Pretty neat.

2009 could easily be described as one of the hardest years I've had so far. Easily top 3. I learned so much about life and about myself--what's important to me, and where my priorities are and where they should be. I learned about the art of love, the broken heart (being the heartbreaker and heartbreakee), and what it's like to lose yourself completely. There were times when I didn't know how I'd come out of the trials I had, and there were times when I felt untouchable and nothing could bring me down. I lost friends, but I gained many more that are teaching me new lessons. I also discovered a lot of passion in many areas of my life--a rewarding career I am working hard to have (physical therapy!), photography and other arts, traveling, and sports. The best part about those is I found them without the influence of others. I may have had a nudge here and there to help me realize how much I really loved them, but in all honesty I never decided to just have those passions so someone would like me better. I love them all on my own. I was also in the best shape I've ever been in. I found new bands I love a lot, and new hobbies I would love to keep up for the rest of my life. School has never been harder and I learned a lot about my motivation and the level of work I have to put into things to be extra successful. Really, if I summed up this year in one word, it would be educational...and I know I wouldn't change it for anything. I came out the other end better, more fun, stronger, and happier. Which is all I could ever ask for...

Just like everyone else on this planet, I have a lot of plans for this year. Ha. My resolutions consist of the usual, but also some smaller baby step goals. Hopefully since I post them on here for everyone to see, it will be a constant reminder and I'll actually follow through. So here it goes. I guess I'll explain a few as I list them.

1. Considering I, and everyone else in the world, ate a ton of food during the holidays and gained more weight than I am happy with, I am determined to get into better shape. Eating better, working out on a regular basis. But it's not just about all the food I ate during the holidays. It's about my long-term well-being. Seriously. I want to be able to do everything I want to when I'm older. If I can't do them as well, so what, but at least I'll be able to do them. I did some observation hours this week and Vanderbilt hospital in the orthopaedic out-patient physical therapy clinic and I saw so many people who came in with all these joint problems and it was pretty much because they never use their muscles so they're just really weak. I can't allow that to happen. I have the power to prevent surgery and many many other health problems and I am the only one who can make myself be healthy and proactive. I'm not putting a timeline on this, because I haven't really figured out how long it will take. But maybe I'll blog about it. Ha.

2. I have a photography class this semester and it's pretty much straight up film. I'll be taking pictures and developing them. Well. Just like every other photographer. Anyway. I plan on doing really really well. And I'm really excited to have my photography passion take off. I'll need a lot of help, but I am positive it'll be a very rewarding experience.

3. Since I am somewhat on the subject of school, I guess I should throw this one in... I have 17 credits this semester and probably won't be the last time I do this. I have to be successful with it and get incredible grades because not only do I want to, but I have to. My goal is to make A's and B's and I plan on doing the best I can to make it that way. My GPA is going to get higher and I will make whatever sacrifices I need to. Feel free to encourage me whenever you like!

4. I want to be a better pen-pal. I hardly ever write my brothers or my friends on missions and frankly, it's pathetic. I have no excuse. It would only take a half hour or so. Maybe even less. Seriously. I am making a goal to write/email at least every Sunday. No excuses this time.

5. I want to be a better friend. To let things go a lot easier, to forgive, and to trust more. To have more compassion and service in mind. To be there and to listen. To offer the best advice possible. To love unconditionally.

6. I want to be better spiritually! I don't pray and read my scriptures near as much as I should and it really is the simple things that matter the most. I want to make a more concerted effort to make this happen and to make Christ the center of my life.

7. I want to procrastinate less and prioritize more! And to have an apartment of order! (at least my room) So that I can channel more success in my schooling and in my life!

8. Along the lines of #4, I want to be a better family member. To keep in touch with family and let them know what's going on in my life. To actually have all their emails and phone numbers and to use them often.

9. I need to blog more. It really is a great way to get my thoughts out and to let everyone know whats going on in my life. I want to make it a goal to blog at least once a week. And I mean really blog. Not lame like "oh school is great" like the nitty gritty stuff. More pictures too.

10. Last one. I want to make it a point to have more fun. To be more spontaneous. To LIVE more. I live in Rexburg. I am in college. I am young. There's no reason why I can't have good awesome clean fun. I only get one life. And I really should make the best of it.

So here's to a new year and a new decade. May everyone get what they deserve and live and prosper (ha)! Here's to following through on your resolutions and making the best of 2010! LOVE YOU ALL!

Life Left To Go

I started this blog the Wednesday just before Thanksgiving break. I just finished it. Sorry it took so long to post!

I recently was introduced to this band called Safetysuit, and I'm in love with their stuff! The title of my blog is one of their songs, and I feel it's somewhat suiting for my blog content. Youtube it. It's amazing.

We finished the "Tuesdays With Morrie" movie in my marriage class yesterday. I cried. Fact. It really put things into perspective for me...what is important to me? who is important me? am I afraid to love and get close to people? am I running from something? am I living the life I want to lead?...There has been a lot of self-reflecting for sure after these past two classes. Of course, I always am doing that after I get out of that class. Which is a good thing. My marriage class is seriously a huge break from all my other classes. I look forward to going and I've only missed once (for chemistry). Since I shared my notes from the first half, I guess I should share the rest of them. Ha.

Don't be afraid to be loved because you're afraid to give yourself to someone.
Am I leading the life I want to lead?
Is this the person I want to be?
If you accept death, you'll live your life differently.
Work, money, ambition--we bury ourselves in this but do we step back and ask ourselves, is this what we really want?
Never do work that uses people or degrades and hurts.
Love always wins.
We think we don't deserve love, if we let it in, we become soft; love is the only rational act--let it come in.
There is nothing innately shameful about being dependent.
We we're infants we need people; when we're dying we need people--here's the secret--we need people all along the way, too.
We must love one another, or die.
The only regrets we should have are pride, vanity, and hardness of heart.
Understand and forgive yourself. Forgive everybody everything. NOW. Don't wait.
We learn from what hurts us as much as what loves us.
What are the poisons in life that you need knocked loose?
Sometimes the simplest things in life are the most perfect.
Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Who's the Morrie in your life?

Again. If you haven't read "Tuesdays With Morrie", I STRONGLY encourage you to read it. It's life-changing.

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Where Is Your Heart At?

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But don't go there right now because it won't have anything on it. :-)

Today has been a day of reflecting for me. My heart is pretty smiley right now and I'm very happy with the life I have right now. I just want to share it with everyone! I have FHE in a half hour though so I have to hurry. Ha.

Okay so I had an incredible Sunday yesterday. I taught Gospel Doctrine (my favorite calling by far!) for the first time this semester (yes I have been called all semester long but I just haven't had to teach. weird.) and it was on Temples and Family History. I kid you not, every lesson I have taught since having a teaching calling has been for me. It makes me smile thinking about all the lessons I've given too, and how I lovelovelove each one. Anyway, this was such a good experience because it talked about how much we can do and all the tools we have at our disposal. One of the things we talked about was writing in a journal. Everyone struggles with this. Seriously. I definitely do. I try to write in my journal as often as I can (usually once a week) and for the first time in my life I have almost filled an entire journal. Cool right? So my roommate, the baller that she is, is best friends with President Eyring's granddaughter (or great granddaughter I'm not sure) and she went over to their house once because he was in town visiting his son (who actually used to be my stake president!) and she shared this awesome experience...He gathered the family together in this library room or something and what he does, every day, is does a journal page on the computer. He does a picture, shares spiritual experiences, feelings, everything he did that day. The picture he takes with his iphone. He types it all up on the computer, and then emails it to EVERYONE in the family. How amazing! After hearing that, I really want to be better at journal writing. I guess having a blog helps a TON. Let's be honest. Typing 3 pages is a lot faster than hand-writing 3 pages. Ridiculous. I love my ward too by the way. So many nice people. Especially our leaders.

Another thing I wanted to tell everyone about was my Eternal Marriage class today. We started talking about the natural man and how to overcome it by having divine qualities. And of course we started the movie Tuesdays With Morrie (which is also an amazing book and I highly recommend you read it if you haven't!). My teacher assigned us to take notes like mad which was very easy to do considering the content of everything. Basically, for those who are wondering, its about a guy named Morrie, who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS), who teaches a previous student of his about living life as he begins to die. It's a real eye-opener because it teaches you also about the meaning of life and how to live it to the fullest. How unimportant all the games are and how we just need to be honest with each other and not protect each other's feelings when it's important to share them. Okay really I'm just going to share my notes. I think that's best in order to get my point across. Haha.

The last great journey is dying and something of value can be learned from it.
Find time--make time--to thank people, to talk to them.
What is it about silence that makes people so uneasy?
Dying is just one thing to be sad about, but living unhappily is another.
Are you giving to your community?
When you know how to die, you know how to live.
Catch your breath every now and then!
How do you see time?
We must love one another, or die.
Aging is not just about decay, it's about growth.
Mourn, and then detach. Don't give yourself time to self-pity. It's not worth it. You have a whole day of living ahead of you.
Don't ever lose the desire to be touched--Don't be scared to let people in--Don't spare people's feelings by denying them.
Did you ever stop to think about what you're running from?

We didn't even finish the movie and I'm already pondering on how I can make my life better. What am I holding back from? What can I change? Who am I not letting in? What am I running from? How am I living? I really want to be a better person. I love my family so so much (every part of my family!!!!) and I want them all to know it. I know I don't know everyone in my family as well as I could or am able to, but I really do love my family so much. I wish I could see all of you all the time and I hope with all my heart that one day we can all live closer and I will be able to devote more time. I don't like how school envelops all my time right now. It is so so hard, but I know this is where I need to be. I want you to know I'm sorry I don't keep in touch as well as I should and I don't see you all as often as we all would like. I do love you all so much. You have a huge part of my heart and soul...

Need You Now

Okay for some reason I have been on a serious Lady Antebellum craze lately. Actually, I really have gotten into some country music lately. It's really strange because if you know me, I'm not always proud of the fact that I'm from the South but recently I really really love it and my accent has come out a lot more. It's fun. I'm really liking it a lot. Haha. I don't like country either, but I really like it a lot lately. Still not into the super twangy stuff and I don't really know If I ever will be, but I think it's a good thing I'm getting into my southern roots. If you have any recommendations for me, let me know! :-)

So my roommate blogs about her love life a lot and I realized that I don't do that at all. I leave little hints every now and then, but nobody gets them because NOBODY knows whats going on half the time. And let's be honest... the majority of the time, I don't either. Anyway, the point is, I decided I'm going to blog about my love life tonight. Because all my other blogs have been kind of boring lately. So I'm gonna bring on the good stuff.

Where to start... Oh goodness. Okay well, for those who are close to me, you have probably heard me talk about Brian--my best friend of...4+ years now. And if you know that, you also know that friends is all we ever have been for many many reasons. Some of which I still am confused about. Haha. Anyway, he just got off his mission. I've gone to Utah a couple times, he's come up here, and we've hung out and had A LOT of fun together. It's so so complicated though because I feel like there is something there, but because we never have enough time to explore that, there hasn't been a lot of progress made. In the past I had forgotten what it was like to miss someone... and he's made me remember that feeling. I also don't think he really knows how much I care about him and I don't really know how to convey that to him. Even as just friends, this has got to be one of the hardest relationships I've ever been in. But it's totally worth it. And I'm honestly happy with everything.

K so then there's Sam. He's from Washington. And he was in my ward last semester but we never really talked or hung out. Anyway, we started talking on facebook a lot. I won't lie, I'm pretty interested. He's very much my type. He's tall, and has dark hair and GORGEOUS green eyes. He's super athletic and funny too. Anyway, he came to visit last week and we went out to Jamba Juice (I highly highly recommend the pumpkin splash drink they have! so good!) and it was just really fun! We had good conversation and he was very respectful. We'll see though.

There's also Jared. Who was also in my ward last semester and is friends/roommates with these other guys I was interested in. He's a stud and sooo funny. He went to Ukraine on his mission, very cool I know. I love Russian so it's a total plus. He doesn't have any idea that I'm interested either. He kind of reminds me of Korben in his sense of style and his sense of humor. Which is appealing cuz Korben is like my best friend and what girl doesn't want a guy who has similar qualities?

That's pretty much it... I'm sure I drive my roommates crazy with all this stuff. Especially since I'm so on and off with all of them. I really really like Brian a lot. Sam and Jared are kind of "let's see what happens" type of things. Like I would be okay if we ended up just being friends. I'm just takin it a day at a time though. What else can I do! Whatev. It's fun. :-)

Now My Feet Won't Touch The Ground

Stress sucks. And I really don't think it likes me very much. I don't handle it well. I'm a very laid back person and very non-confrontational. So when stress hits, it is literally a nightmare. I wish I knew of a stress management class. Except I don't know how much good that would do for me because it would probably just stress me out even more having to deal with that class on top of everything else in my life. Ha. I may look into it.

I have 17 credits for next semester: Motor Development, Chemistry 106 with a lab, Exercise Physiology with a lab, Sports Nutrition, Photography, & Weight Lifting for women. Yeah I'm gonna be pretty busy. The response I've gotten when I tell people that has been pretty 50/50 too. So I can't figure out if I'll end up dropping or not. A lot of these classes will be a cake walk, it'll just be putting the time and effort into them is what will be hard. I'm really excited about photography though. It's gonna be tight.

Flag football ended pretty well! It was actually a really exciting week for that! We were...1 and 5? I think. And then we had a playoff game last Tuesday and we won 18-0. SWEET. Semifinals were an hour later and we won that game too!!! 18-13. HECK YES. Finals were rough. The team we played was very rude and NOT fun AT ALL to play with. So it made it really difficult. I really wanted to take a few girls out. Seriously. We lost 13-0. SUCKED. BUT! At least we got second place. And I made some really awesome friends from being apart of this team :-) It was seriously a blast. If it were possible for me to love football more than I already do, I would say this experience did it.

Well, Chemistry is calling may name unfortunately. Until next time.