Nobody likes you when you're 23...

I think Blink 182 is wrong because so far, being 23 has been amazing. I mean, it's only been 5 days out, but let's be honest--I've pretty much gotten everything I asked for and I got to spend my birthday with a pretty special person (it would've been 2 special persons if Melanie could've come back!).

I know most of you are wondering what I did for my birthday, soooo... I will tell you. :)

I. went to Utah. Provo to be exact. I saw some old friends--Carly. Nate. Javin. Jc. Marcus. Josh. Joel. Brian. Chelsey.

Met some new friends--Mike. Joe. Austin. I think that's it. 

But mostly. I just spent all my time with Joseph. Basically every waking hour. And then some. And right now, he is the cheese to my macaroni. No lie. I miss him a lot and I hope we see each other again soon.

(I'm not really one to divulge information on things like this so if you have questions about it, feel free to email me. But the short of it is I'm kinda crazy about this kid.)

I decided for my birthday that I was going to copy Melanie and post a picture a day on my blog, but I have thus far failed, so I will probably just start it another day. Maybe.

My aunt and uncle are moving. I'm really happy for them, but I really will miss them over the summer because I love them so much. I don't think they know how much, because I'm never at their house (which is in fact where I'm supposed to be staying for the time being), and I really feel pretty bad about it. They mean so much to me, and I don't think they realize what great examples they are to me. or why they are such great examples to me. I hope that up until they leave, that we'll be able to do more things together and grow closer.

I'm going to start reading "The Miracle of Forgiveness" tonight. I hear it's pretty intense. I'm hoping to gain a lot from this book. Wish me luck.

Also. As I progress through my internship, I'm realizing that I lovelovelove therapy more and more, and what exactly I want to specialize in and what kind of atmosphere I want to work in. It's also an on-going battle between whether or not I want to do physical or occupational therapy. Because I actually shadow both. It's kind of a joke, too, with the people I work with every day--they always ask "So what are you leaning towards, today?" Truth is, I really still don't know. But there are a few amazing therapists who have really influenced me so far, and I seriously cannot wait to go to grad school. Let's just hope I get in! Ha.

I'm a little embarrassed...

I kind of had a breakdown the other night, which was followed by a post that I'm not too proud of.. Haha. I'm not crazy I swear, and everything is fine now. Just one of those nights I suppose. And I am a girl, so it's almost to be expected.

My internship is going reallllly well and I'm so so happy about it. I know I made the right decision because I would not be having the same experience anywhere else. The people I shadow/intern for are amazing and they teach me so much. I am working with Physical Therapists AND Occupational Therapists and it's really swaying my decision for school. I still am leaning towards PT, but OT is more and more present in my mind. Which is fine, because either way I still have grad school to consider. It's really incredible work though, and I know this is exactly the career I should be in--therapy. It's beyond phenomenal.

I started working at the Caverns again. So fun. I really have loved that job every year I've worked there. They're so good to me! My boss is even nice enough to let me have the weekend off for my birthday! What an angel. They built a new swing up there and it is huge! Oh my heavens. I can't wait to be able to test it out or whatever. Supposedly it goes almost 180 degrees! Ah!

I miss my friend Melanie and I really want her to come back to the States. I hope she does soon. And maybe she can come to Colorado and live and work with me. We'd have so much fun and she'd still be close to her man.

3 things I really want for my birthday:
1. A Vintage Phoenix Suns Shirt (or a Cardinals Jersey!)
2. A New Hairstyle (I have no idea what though, so any suggestions would be awesome!)
3. All my bills PAID IN FULL (not likely, but hey. A girl can dream!)

I have something to say.

Why are relationships so hard and confusing? Every time I get in one, or even think about getting in one, I end up freaking out and not liking it. Isn't it just easier to be single? I think I've forgotten what it's like to actually work hard in a relationship and pull my own weight and do my part to make it work. How do you do it? I can dish out all this advice to all my friends but when it comes to actually stepping up and taking my own advice, I can't do it. I don't know where to draw the line. What's too much? What's too little? I'm too afraid to try because I don't wanna screw it up! I feel a tiny bit pathetic, but it's the truth! What do I do? I don't wanna get crazy jealous over anything or say the wrong thing when I'm being honest. I just don't know. And when  is he supposed to do work? Ugh. It's so frustrating. And. How do you even break up with people? Or discuss something serious? I've been a player for so long I feel like don't even know how to do things right. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think I'll be okay, I'm just having like a mini breakdown or something. One day at a time, right?

I'm going to Utah for my birthday. Fact. And I can't wait. 9 days.